What is the Edge of Ink?

Every writer contends with a blank page before that person begins to write.  Just before a spot of ink is placed on the page, that moment right before creation is the Edge of Ink.

I am creating this blog to begin to share my thoughts with readers as far as I can place them into context.  In essence, I wonder if you wonder what I wonder.  Do you think what I think or can we create something new at the Edge of Ink? 

I currently hold a Master of Arts in English and American Literature.  I earned additional hours in Rhetoric and Composition.  I am currently working my way through seminary in order to add to my life and not to replace my English career. 

I am consistently asked, "Why did you go to seminary?"  "Umm...God" is what I always want to answer.  I went to seminary for a lot of reasons after "Umm...God."  I entered seminary to seriously study scripture, to learn more about different kinds of faith, to learn to train myself, to become more disciplined, to build confidence as a scholar again, and right next to "Umm...God," I entered seminary to fall in love with faith again. 

It was at the edge of life before I entered seminary when I realized that, for about the third time, I was quitting Churchianity.  I had become so immersed in trying to fit into the church and serving other people that I no longer had a real relationship with God.  "Real" in the sense that I was no longer in love with my faith.  I was in church, trying to pray, fighting off the effects of PTSD in my life to contend with the imagery around me, and I realized that the relationship I once had with God was no longer worth it.  I loved God and was trying to be an active person in my religious and spiritual life, but I was no longer in love with faith or living it.  The demands and costs of Churchianity are much too high.

I entered seminary because I am a beloved child of God and needed to know it again.

"What are you going to do with your degree from seminary?" is usually the next question.  I want to have a private practice helping to heal people who are no longer in love with their faith -- spiritual direction.  I want people to love God and their faith.  It seems to be frivolous to many people to do such a thing or even crazy.  Well, the only answer I have to that is -- I feel called to do so. 

Although I am considered by many to have fallen away from my faith because I pray with Jews and can be seen from a distance due to my skullcap as a Jew, I think those who really wanted to know about my faith journey would ask instead of judge.  By the way, my faith cannot be canceled out by acknowledging my maternal grandmother's heritage.  It's called DNA; it's scientific.

The balance is in the Bible.  Grace and the law both have their places in my life and in my lived theology.  What I cling to more often now are simple verses and thoughts.  I have been wrestling with that very balance and the love of God lately.  The song "Jesus Loves Me" keeps coming back into my heart when I question it the most or contend with those who have decided that, while I have been in seminary and immersing myself in scripture, I also became an apostate. 

The Edge of Ink is where I want to work out those issues and others that may arise.  I like a lot of things.  I question the world we live in and, more importantly, how are we to live faith in a world that God created to be good.  More and more, I want my faith to lead my life.  Why is any of this important?    

"Umm...God."