The Power of Choice

In a previous post, I stated that I don’t believe in choosing for other people.  I would like to clarify what I think about believe about the power of choice.  Choice is freedom. 

It has been my experience, except in three different people’s cases, that when someone has decided to give a gift to me, or when I needed it, gave a form of charity to me that it has always come at a price.  That price is usually rooted in the statement “beggars can’t be choosers.”  We have social programs in place in the United States because people need help.  I don’t believe that everyone who gives a gift is out to control another person.  I can honestly say that I have met three people in my life who gave to give and never once made me feel like I was a charity case or less than they were.  It saddens me to say that only one of those people is a Christian.  I am now 36. 

I have been given gifts by a lot of people.  I am an American; we thrive on consumerism.  Because we do, it has been my experience that even a gift which isn’t requested requires some form of payment.  Usually the emotional cost comes in something along these lines.  “Do you still have ____________ that _________ gave you?  Cuz I’m just checking that you still have it.”  I find this kind of behavior to be one of the most annoying things people can do in my home.  Essentially, to me, that is shopping in my house.  I don’t live in the mall. 

When I give things away, it doesn’t cross my mind to ask what happened to it.  I gave it away, and with it, the ownership of the object.  Everyone I know likes gifts.  There is a difference between gift giving and choosing for another person. 

Someone gave me ride the other day and the gift came with the oddest conversation.  She was driving a Hyundai Accent that she said she just got in Arizona.  I asked about her family, and she said she didn’t have one.  We shared a moment of unity over not having our own nuclear families right now.  She had been out shopping for a house, and I thought to myself “she must have won the lottery.”  I couldn’t buy a car and go house shopping.  I don’t know many who can.  She then said to me, “that man already had a family.  The right one will come along for you.”  Huh?  Where did that come from?  I didn’t say anything about trying to find one.  I’m not on the hunt.  It was an enormous communicative disconnect.  She jumped from her car and shopping to the right man for me and that other one wasn't.  What other one?  It was a fun ride and a fun car though.  I would have picked something just like it.  Because I accepted a ride, I was thought of as lonely for a spouse and wrong for a nameless family man. 

Thanks for the ride.  It was interesting.

At least no one said “hang in there.”  That phrase to me means “I realize that you have been hung out to dry on a cross but you can make it!  The Lord died and God brought him back.  Just keep thinking about suffering better.”  The reason people say that is that they understand and recognize that you are being crucified for some reason by something or someone else.  Instead, I wish others would do as the Apostle Paul has taught us and say, “Keep the faith!”  I have a few friends who do.  We help where we can.  God bless them. 

Blessing another with the ability to choose is one of the best freedoms that can be bestowed on that person. 

I have a rule of thumb that I follow.  If I don’t think that I can give it and walk away, then I don’t give it.  If I think that I will tell the receiver how to use my gift, then I don’t give it.  The power of choice is ownership of a person’s own life.  It is more important to choose to keep something than to try to enslave another with it.  If you can’t give it and leave it, then don’t give it. 

Anonymous presents are the best ones!