Acceptance is key to loving oneself. It is impossible to love others if one does not love oneself. It is a part of me, so I have accepted it. Simply - I am me regardless of what that is. I associate with all kinds of people because, at this point in my life, I am a lot of those people or have been. While I am not spouting that I am Everyman, I am keenly aware that I too could be a you. I've worked far more on inclusion than exclusion, and thanks to my Reform Jewish friends/family, I have considered extreme hospitality beyond double chocolate brownies and Watergate salad. My journey with extreme hospitality actually began much earlier than my time in Reform Temples did; however, being with people who practice it causes it to be more ingrained than the hospitality lesson would otherwise be. I had to learn that I am both, figuratively, a dog and a cat.
Nonetheless, those whom have worked on themselves in their own lives and lead others are far more prone to have removed the false dichotomies that our societies have chosen to enforce on us from before the time we were born. This skill makes or breaks leaders. If a leader can look past sameness and embrace difference, the dualistic boundaries can be traversed to include everyone. We like our boundaries and our sameness but not as much as removing the very differences that keep us alive, well, and, in part, entertained enough to create communities. The problem though with leaders is that someone has to lead them. Leaders are cats.
How do leaders lead other leaders when they are all busy serving those they are leading already? It's quite simple: Listen to Everyone And Decide.
Listen to: Listening is not hearing. Listening means that the hearer has understood the message, has processed it and has considered what it means. People have hearing tests to check if they can hear a sound. They don't have listening tests other than in schools to see if a student can reflect what another person has said. After that, if the skill isn't used, then it is usually forgotten. Listening to the still small voice of God, one's own heart and the circle of trusted people in a person's life can steer everyone, especially leaders. Dogs listen to everything from everyone and continue to love.
Everyone: Everyone means everyone. Credentialling doesn't necessarily create a better advisor. Children sometimes have the most honest and wiser statements than those who haven't yet gotten their lives sorted out at 65. Most people don't listen to children to make decisions. Everyone also includes those who have an opposing viewpoint. A one-sided conversation is the ego speaking through everyone to confirm gossip. Everyone includes people who don't want and will not be in agreement. Everyone is everyone.
And: And is a coordinating conjunction. It brings at least two different things together. This is the point of leadership in many ways. Leaders support, serve, and unite people together for a common cause. Joining together is not easy for people, but joining together is not desired by everyone. Trying to force people to be together isn't ever going to bring people together. It causes resentment and separation.
Decide: A decision is an intentional choice. It can never be included in a statement of "well, I had to because..." A decision is a specific choice. It cannot be wafted away as anything other than a choice. To decide also means that accountability to given to the person making the decision. It is necessary to work with decisions instead of attempting to work with the rut of whatevers. Intentionality is supportable and leading necessitates accountability and responsibility for the decisions made even if the leader claims "I had to..." or "I have to..." Usually, have and had to do's aren't. They are choices. Cats choose, and dogs want to do whatever the human wants as long as they can be together. Dogs want to be friends regardless of the level of loyalty that they need. Cats choose when to be around. As the musical tells us, cats even choose their own names.
When people L.E.A.D., goals progress to successful completion. Absolutist viewpoints are impossible, and leaders are unable to have dictatorial commands. To L.E.A.D., one must consider another's humanity and continue to understand that power is not the point of leadership. Acceptance of what comes, using it to serve and loving people is the point. If I too could be a you, then I also have to be willing to follow myself if I am going to lead. Any leader who is unwilling to follow him or herself based on how the team members are included in the decision-making process should not be the leader. We are all diverse people, and we want to stay that way. We want to be cats and dogs, and to do so, we cannot live a dichotomy. Accepting that we are not each other and not one part of us can be separated and stay alive as we were intended gives us the power we seek for everyone --- loving equality.
Nonetheless, those whom have worked on themselves in their own lives and lead others are far more prone to have removed the false dichotomies that our societies have chosen to enforce on us from before the time we were born. This skill makes or breaks leaders. If a leader can look past sameness and embrace difference, the dualistic boundaries can be traversed to include everyone. We like our boundaries and our sameness but not as much as removing the very differences that keep us alive, well, and, in part, entertained enough to create communities. The problem though with leaders is that someone has to lead them. Leaders are cats.
How do leaders lead other leaders when they are all busy serving those they are leading already? It's quite simple: Listen to Everyone And Decide.
Listen to: Listening is not hearing. Listening means that the hearer has understood the message, has processed it and has considered what it means. People have hearing tests to check if they can hear a sound. They don't have listening tests other than in schools to see if a student can reflect what another person has said. After that, if the skill isn't used, then it is usually forgotten. Listening to the still small voice of God, one's own heart and the circle of trusted people in a person's life can steer everyone, especially leaders. Dogs listen to everything from everyone and continue to love.
Everyone: Everyone means everyone. Credentialling doesn't necessarily create a better advisor. Children sometimes have the most honest and wiser statements than those who haven't yet gotten their lives sorted out at 65. Most people don't listen to children to make decisions. Everyone also includes those who have an opposing viewpoint. A one-sided conversation is the ego speaking through everyone to confirm gossip. Everyone includes people who don't want and will not be in agreement. Everyone is everyone.
And: And is a coordinating conjunction. It brings at least two different things together. This is the point of leadership in many ways. Leaders support, serve, and unite people together for a common cause. Joining together is not easy for people, but joining together is not desired by everyone. Trying to force people to be together isn't ever going to bring people together. It causes resentment and separation.
Decide: A decision is an intentional choice. It can never be included in a statement of "well, I had to because..." A decision is a specific choice. It cannot be wafted away as anything other than a choice. To decide also means that accountability to given to the person making the decision. It is necessary to work with decisions instead of attempting to work with the rut of whatevers. Intentionality is supportable and leading necessitates accountability and responsibility for the decisions made even if the leader claims "I had to..." or "I have to..." Usually, have and had to do's aren't. They are choices. Cats choose, and dogs want to do whatever the human wants as long as they can be together. Dogs want to be friends regardless of the level of loyalty that they need. Cats choose when to be around. As the musical tells us, cats even choose their own names.
When people L.E.A.D., goals progress to successful completion. Absolutist viewpoints are impossible, and leaders are unable to have dictatorial commands. To L.E.A.D., one must consider another's humanity and continue to understand that power is not the point of leadership. Acceptance of what comes, using it to serve and loving people is the point. If I too could be a you, then I also have to be willing to follow myself if I am going to lead. Any leader who is unwilling to follow him or herself based on how the team members are included in the decision-making process should not be the leader. We are all diverse people, and we want to stay that way. We want to be cats and dogs, and to do so, we cannot live a dichotomy. Accepting that we are not each other and not one part of us can be separated and stay alive as we were intended gives us the power we seek for everyone --- loving equality.
No comments:
Post a Comment