Often, spiritual and religious people discuss finding their faith, when they came to faith, and how they were lost without their faith. It is less often that the subject is brought up that people need ignited to keep the faith. That inner flame in the person's spirit is there from the beginning, but like any good lamp, it needs to be lit again from time to time. It needs reviving.
What has revived my inner life, my entire life, is leaving society, going to nature, and finding one-ness with creation. That which is created is part of the Creator. It cannot be any other way. The Creator's blessing and imprint is upon it. In our world, we forget that we are human. We connect to technology and the hunt for the American dream to only realize that what we had along, quite like Dorothy, was not only plentiful but wisely sustaining. When we asked for help, we could have been helped by those around us from the beginning of our journeys, but, like Dorothy, some of us began by dropping a lot of baggage onto the scene to start with a bit of carnage and wreckage. Not everyone is going to want to bond with or help a cheery, house-dropping, sibling-killing newbie. Often, those with the same secular masks covering their own flaws will provide a roundabout means of earning the desired outcome when a simple solution is all that's needed. A customer service smile is often just that -- a means to deaden the experience until the clock rolls around for lots of people to do what they want instead of the grind for the next paycheck. The issue within the drollness of life and the ditches that we have seemingly dug ourselves into in America is that the wick has been burned through the candle. At some point, a flame doesn't burn without some kind of wick whether it be rope, pine needles or otherwise.
What is your wick? For some, the quest of knowledge is what holds their flame in place. For others, the bonds that they have with their families keep them burning bright. Without a place to hold the fire, the candle doesn't burn and neither do our souls hunting for their own understanding. We would rather extinguish than burn brightly. We don't worry about hiding our lights under the proverbial bushel as much as we may be concerned about those who continue to bushel our lights. In a world of offendedness, the social construct that reigns is a huge game of keeping my light away from your bushel -- a global game of claiming ownership over the candles on one's birthday cake to protect them while another attempts to blow them out to get to one's cake faster.
How tired I am of candles at vigils for the dead and causes, being the only use of the archaic flames in our lives! How tired are all of us of the lists of names in our country that are read to honor the extinguished people by the violent bushel of another! The very first time I notice that I was at peace and far from the violence of the world was around a campfire. This was a fire that united all of those around in melodies, snacks, and sweetness. The circle of those whom without the glow of the fire circle and the singing of the music would not have experienced peace that year. As the fire pit was filled and prepared, their inner wicks appeared. They wanted to be lit. To enjoy as much of the fire that they had built was the only thing that ignited them into a peaceful evening and continued year. The peace they found as their own wicks were ignited just as the fire was, was contagious. It was here that my inner life was also ignited. It was just peaceful.
Still today, it is not the candles at the vigils we hold or the ones gathered in services for Christmas Eve or even Channukah that ignite me. It is the one that I light every day. My own personal candle to set the day apart from the world with the intention that I will try to write something beautiful, to live a better life, to embrace changes and challenges, to live what I believe regardless of onlookers and critics, and to remember that striving to perfection means that an intention to shine through the cracks in our stories and perceptions of others may be the only way to stay lit in an engulfing society.
Set the intention to stay aflame -- to burn brightly when the rest of the world seems to be darkened. Be the wick around which the fire can burn brightly for the world to see how well a melody can encompass peace for one evening and bring it through the entire year. Be the wick in the middle of your flame giving to others the same opportunity to shine.
Embrace what lights you up everyday!
Friday, July 26, 2019
Sunday, July 14, 2019
Herding Cats: Discipling Out of Dichotomy
I've never made either my Christian or Jewish journey private. In fact, I have made them both quite public. Having a blog and writing about life on Facebook does that. It makes one's life public. Many have addressed this as an impossibility to have in my life, especially since I am not a Messianic Jew and am a remnant believer. Others have posed that this dichotomy and interest is a result of the journey of a specific congregation I was a part of, and others have decided that I am just re-examing my values as a part of my age and injury. I've always examined values and, generally, have written values arguments in my own work. When the full span of my life is examined, a direct flow from 1999 to now shows how this dichotomy has developed for 20 years. Essentially, when I learned that I was also genetically Jewish along with all of the other things that I am, I readily accepted it.
Acceptance is key to loving oneself. It is impossible to love others if one does not love oneself. It is a part of me, so I have accepted it. Simply - I am me regardless of what that is. I associate with all kinds of people because, at this point in my life, I am a lot of those people or have been. While I am not spouting that I am Everyman, I am keenly aware that I too could be a you. I've worked far more on inclusion than exclusion, and thanks to my Reform Jewish friends/family, I have considered extreme hospitality beyond double chocolate brownies and Watergate salad. My journey with extreme hospitality actually began much earlier than my time in Reform Temples did; however, being with people who practice it causes it to be more ingrained than the hospitality lesson would otherwise be. I had to learn that I am both, figuratively, a dog and a cat.
Nonetheless, those whom have worked on themselves in their own lives and lead others are far more prone to have removed the false dichotomies that our societies have chosen to enforce on us from before the time we were born. This skill makes or breaks leaders. If a leader can look past sameness and embrace difference, the dualistic boundaries can be traversed to include everyone. We like our boundaries and our sameness but not as much as removing the very differences that keep us alive, well, and, in part, entertained enough to create communities. The problem though with leaders is that someone has to lead them. Leaders are cats.
How do leaders lead other leaders when they are all busy serving those they are leading already? It's quite simple: Listen to Everyone And Decide.
Listen to: Listening is not hearing. Listening means that the hearer has understood the message, has processed it and has considered what it means. People have hearing tests to check if they can hear a sound. They don't have listening tests other than in schools to see if a student can reflect what another person has said. After that, if the skill isn't used, then it is usually forgotten. Listening to the still small voice of God, one's own heart and the circle of trusted people in a person's life can steer everyone, especially leaders. Dogs listen to everything from everyone and continue to love.
Everyone: Everyone means everyone. Credentialling doesn't necessarily create a better advisor. Children sometimes have the most honest and wiser statements than those who haven't yet gotten their lives sorted out at 65. Most people don't listen to children to make decisions. Everyone also includes those who have an opposing viewpoint. A one-sided conversation is the ego speaking through everyone to confirm gossip. Everyone includes people who don't want and will not be in agreement. Everyone is everyone.
And: And is a coordinating conjunction. It brings at least two different things together. This is the point of leadership in many ways. Leaders support, serve, and unite people together for a common cause. Joining together is not easy for people, but joining together is not desired by everyone. Trying to force people to be together isn't ever going to bring people together. It causes resentment and separation.
Decide: A decision is an intentional choice. It can never be included in a statement of "well, I had to because..." A decision is a specific choice. It cannot be wafted away as anything other than a choice. To decide also means that accountability to given to the person making the decision. It is necessary to work with decisions instead of attempting to work with the rut of whatevers. Intentionality is supportable and leading necessitates accountability and responsibility for the decisions made even if the leader claims "I had to..." or "I have to..." Usually, have and had to do's aren't. They are choices. Cats choose, and dogs want to do whatever the human wants as long as they can be together. Dogs want to be friends regardless of the level of loyalty that they need. Cats choose when to be around. As the musical tells us, cats even choose their own names.
When people L.E.A.D., goals progress to successful completion. Absolutist viewpoints are impossible, and leaders are unable to have dictatorial commands. To L.E.A.D., one must consider another's humanity and continue to understand that power is not the point of leadership. Acceptance of what comes, using it to serve and loving people is the point. If I too could be a you, then I also have to be willing to follow myself if I am going to lead. Any leader who is unwilling to follow him or herself based on how the team members are included in the decision-making process should not be the leader. We are all diverse people, and we want to stay that way. We want to be cats and dogs, and to do so, we cannot live a dichotomy. Accepting that we are not each other and not one part of us can be separated and stay alive as we were intended gives us the power we seek for everyone --- loving equality.
Nonetheless, those whom have worked on themselves in their own lives and lead others are far more prone to have removed the false dichotomies that our societies have chosen to enforce on us from before the time we were born. This skill makes or breaks leaders. If a leader can look past sameness and embrace difference, the dualistic boundaries can be traversed to include everyone. We like our boundaries and our sameness but not as much as removing the very differences that keep us alive, well, and, in part, entertained enough to create communities. The problem though with leaders is that someone has to lead them. Leaders are cats.
How do leaders lead other leaders when they are all busy serving those they are leading already? It's quite simple: Listen to Everyone And Decide.
Listen to: Listening is not hearing. Listening means that the hearer has understood the message, has processed it and has considered what it means. People have hearing tests to check if they can hear a sound. They don't have listening tests other than in schools to see if a student can reflect what another person has said. After that, if the skill isn't used, then it is usually forgotten. Listening to the still small voice of God, one's own heart and the circle of trusted people in a person's life can steer everyone, especially leaders. Dogs listen to everything from everyone and continue to love.
Everyone: Everyone means everyone. Credentialling doesn't necessarily create a better advisor. Children sometimes have the most honest and wiser statements than those who haven't yet gotten their lives sorted out at 65. Most people don't listen to children to make decisions. Everyone also includes those who have an opposing viewpoint. A one-sided conversation is the ego speaking through everyone to confirm gossip. Everyone includes people who don't want and will not be in agreement. Everyone is everyone.
And: And is a coordinating conjunction. It brings at least two different things together. This is the point of leadership in many ways. Leaders support, serve, and unite people together for a common cause. Joining together is not easy for people, but joining together is not desired by everyone. Trying to force people to be together isn't ever going to bring people together. It causes resentment and separation.
Decide: A decision is an intentional choice. It can never be included in a statement of "well, I had to because..." A decision is a specific choice. It cannot be wafted away as anything other than a choice. To decide also means that accountability to given to the person making the decision. It is necessary to work with decisions instead of attempting to work with the rut of whatevers. Intentionality is supportable and leading necessitates accountability and responsibility for the decisions made even if the leader claims "I had to..." or "I have to..." Usually, have and had to do's aren't. They are choices. Cats choose, and dogs want to do whatever the human wants as long as they can be together. Dogs want to be friends regardless of the level of loyalty that they need. Cats choose when to be around. As the musical tells us, cats even choose their own names.
When people L.E.A.D., goals progress to successful completion. Absolutist viewpoints are impossible, and leaders are unable to have dictatorial commands. To L.E.A.D., one must consider another's humanity and continue to understand that power is not the point of leadership. Acceptance of what comes, using it to serve and loving people is the point. If I too could be a you, then I also have to be willing to follow myself if I am going to lead. Any leader who is unwilling to follow him or herself based on how the team members are included in the decision-making process should not be the leader. We are all diverse people, and we want to stay that way. We want to be cats and dogs, and to do so, we cannot live a dichotomy. Accepting that we are not each other and not one part of us can be separated and stay alive as we were intended gives us the power we seek for everyone --- loving equality.
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