If: I Have One

Scene:  While on the bus, people literally looked through the top of my shopping bag to see what I had in order to decide if I was allowed to have it.  I had just been to Walmart and had gotten a shower caddy to organize art supplies as they worked really well in the classrooms in which I have been serving.  I was asked, "how much were those markers at Hobby Lobby?" by someone probably half my age.  I did not get them there as even with the 40% off coupon they would be more expensive that at Walmart.  These two women literally had a conversation about my belongings because they have decided that unless they have something, then it isn't okay for anyone else to have anything.  I know this because I had also purchased a small re-useable lunch bag and a re-useable ice block for it.  The mother literally said, "it's okay to one that since I have those in the freezer."  Then, the other said, "I moved those to the deep freezer."  Then, the mother said, "Things have piled up on my night stand.  Do you think I should get one of those?" She was talking about the shower caddy.  So, I said, "they are on clearance."     

They live in a house; I live in an apartment.  I don't have a deep freezer.  Nothing except a lamp and my glasses go on my night stand.  Keeping my bedroom very simple and nearly empty has caused me to be able to have dreams again.  The clock is under the main shelf on it as I have to maneuver my arm to get to it in an odd way.  I can't accidentally shut it off.  What these women are communicating is that they are striving to live on what they think is almost nothing.  They are living in scarcity when they have far more than I do.  They live with 8 people in the same house, and the daughter was jealous that her grandfather had bought her sister hygiene supplies when she didn't have a job.  There's more to the story as the sister, the "baby daddy," and the new boyfriend are all unemployed and living in the same house with two children.  

Without proper hygiene supplies, the woman can't possibly become employed.  They tried to say that she was hitting rock bottom, and everything was her fault.  Well, they are envious of shampoo, yet are upset that she has two kids, living with the grandfather, and had two live-in men with her while she's unemployed.  I'm just a person on the bus they don't know, and they needed to figure out if I was allowed to have an ice block while trying to figure out if I was choosing the correct parts for my lunch.  They need to be able to approve of what someone else is allowed to eat at work.  Why?  They need to control because they are controlled by objects and ideologies that have told them that they need to control others.   

Most of the time, answers people have in conversations don't matter.  I have learned in the city where I live that I have literally buy my way out of their constant evangelistic techniques because none of it is based on belief.  It's a constant demand for money.  People don't need what they think they need.  People who have enormous houses and are easily bought because they buy into the American philosophy that more is better.   I am growing some of my own vegetables, and their scruples are deciding whether or not I am allowed to choose to by an ice block.  They live in a house -- they have more than me.  People with five cars have said that I have too much.  I don't have one. 

I have simple keys.  There are no key chains.  There are no decorations.  They are simple.  I wouldn't trade my dreams for a TV in my room for my anything.  I am simplifying.  I dream.

I am blessed indeed.