While waiting for the bus, I accidentally overheard someone on the phone. It would have been impossible not to hear her as she was talking really loudly. She was on the phone with her boyfriend trying to break up with him. He had apparently been trying to get her to wear a hijab and live differently for him. While on the phone I heard respond, "this isn't about being patient. I'm just not that kind of girl." At that point, I High 5'd her for sticking to her convictions and not giving in to what he wanted while disagreeing with her. She is absolutely "that kind of girl."
Head-coverings, when they are chosen, are a form of freedom. She is choosing not to wear a head-covering out of the same need for feel free as wearing one does for those who choose it. When I chose to wear my kippah in public on a trial basis for two weeks, but the second day, I was okay with having made the lifelong decision that I have now committed myself to doing. In some ways, it is difficult because, at the same time, I became an apostate to people by choosing to embrace this freedom that causes me to feel closer to God and freer than I ever had been before. It changed the way that I understood the world and the way that the world understands me. It is a decision that is definitely not accepted by a lot of people, and one that causes people to have to think about what think about it. It wasn't an easy decision to make.
What the young woman at the bus stop didn't understand was that she was choosing the same thing that other people choose: her freedom. No! She shouldn't be forced to wear a hijab for her boyfriend. No one should be forced into a religious head-covering. They have to be chosen. I feel the same way towards a religious collar as she does about a hijab. It's my freedom that would be taken away from me. My freedom of choice has been expressed in another way and has brought my life in different directions.
I am proud that she is choosing not to wear it. I am proud that I chose my kippah. I am proud of those who wear hijabs. I am proud of those who don't wear kippah. I am proud of those who find their religious freedom through choosing to follow how God shows them to live.
Friday, September 25, 2015
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Friendship and Community
Having taken the month of August off from blogging to focus on creating my collection for the YYP Competition, my creative energy surge to complete another collection has turned retrospective. I started thinking of the poetry that I have written throughout my life. I remembered when I thought that all good poetry rhymed as Shel Silverstein's Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout was brilliant to me. I loved Silverstein and Seuss. I set out to rhyme everything for a couple of years. It was a great game to play.
Gamesmanship is not a lost art in people's lives. Unfortunately, some like to play with other people. I have been honored these past weeks to observe a couple of people though.
First, while I was on the bus, I saw and met a homeless man. He was awesome. He was encouraging all of the people around him to have good and productive days. He wanted to buy a cup of coffee for another man on the bus who was having a difficult time finding work, but he was housed and fed. He was sad that he didn't have work. Yet, the homeless guy found work wherever it was to include encouraging the other man on the bus. I understood him as a Christ figure. He was there to encourage and care for those around him instead of asking for anything. It was counter to what is normally experienced in that situation.
Secondly, I met Jimmy. Jimmy is a student who is working towards having a better future in his life. He is studying to pass his courses and is working to leave a halfway house. He is a white collar ex-con who is now choosing to live life differently. I was honored to hear his story about consistently choosing freedom while experiencing his new space and options and share with him the information about being a university student.
While we were all on the bus, some people were opposed to the first guy far more than anyone was opposed to Jimmy. Homelessness is game where I currently live. It seems that it is more of an issue here than anywhere else I have lived, or at least, it seems to be so. There are prisons here, a lot of missions to help people, and only about 100,000 people. I have met some people who seem to try to make other people homeless here. Perhaps, I am recognizing it more than before since there are far fewer people than I am used to being around. I live in a city that is a tenth of the size than the one before I moved, and while it isn't necessarily a Cheers episode, people know people here.
These were experiences that were living poetry in my life. I found beauty in these people and what they had to say. I found poetry in the acceptance of the other people around them. It was community that appeared within the community. No had to make a show of anything. It just was -- community. The key is knowing two things: when to Build an Ark and when to Dare to be a Daniel. I have had some great experiences in the past few weeks that illustrate how community can sing in its own poetic forms as we just go about living our lives. It was also incredible to me because it reminded me of the ways that we view other people.
Too often society looks at something and thinks that it knows what it is. Just like David and Goliath, the giants we fight fall, but we use our own ways to make sure that we are able to be safe in the fights. It is in our best interest to do so. People also seem to think of themselves as mighty warriors such that we even have giants to slay. At some point, people don't need to create giants. The giants we fight are generally of our own making. We make giants of the unknown. Because we don't know everything, we think our creative narratives are everyone's reality.
The number one way that people do this is questioning everyone's motives. I was given a recipe to make a cleaner out of bleach and Pine Sol. When I told someone the story, the motive was questioned. Why does someone give something to the other person? Well, I was using Lysol and didn't like the results, so I was looking for something different. I asked the neighbor who does maintenance in apartments about what they use (ya''ll know how people are), so he shared the information. Why is his motive questioned for sharing? It's a regular thing for neighbors to do. It's called: "being neighborly."
Paranoia is a huge problem for people. It's normal to ask for help and beneficial. Not everything is a personal attack or motivated to harm another person. Paranoia is a huge giant as is greed. Trust issues plague our society. I was asked why I owned something that someone else didn't. Why isn't it okay for one person to have thing and another not to? Why would someone go into another person's house and say "where did you get that?" in an accusatory tone? What is the real problem in those instances? Envy.
I met a person who wants everything done for him but doesn't share or reciprocate in anyway. Instead, the person claims that he is being taken advantage of when he is actually more ahead of the game because others are sharing with him. We have the adage that No Good Deed goes unpunished. The problem with it is that not everyone is out to get everyone else. The real issues is that there are people playing games trying to control other people within our society. I try to remember that there was a time in my life before I knew most people in it now, and I'm still here which means I will probably be in my life after that person. I am realistically the only person from whom I can't get away.
People tend to forget that when they want to punish someone then it is because that person is acting as the judicial system instead of using the judicial system. It leads to a pity party most of the time. "The poor me's I helped someone" syndrome is a real problem. Some people are incredibly toxic, but the ex-con and homeless man I met on the bus were healthier than some of the others around them. Doing service work actually causes people to feel better and motivate those around them to do better.
It seems that some are out to erase hope. Some are out to make sure that they can trample everyone else. At some point, it's only when people know that I have or intend to go to a Temple that they start getting upset and refusing to help me while presuming that I am there to serve them. I know a lot of people on the margins of society while I know others in high positions who can't handle a simple conversation.
Those with nothing seem to be able to be hospitable while others talk sideways. It's really simple. Greed is a self-centered choice. Sharing is not. Friendship is okay. For someone who has been accused of not knowing how to have and keep friends, it seems that when I have friends their involvement in my life is a problem for others I know. It is a sign of a controlling and toxic relationship.
Friendship is normal. Isolation is not. Some can make friends in any walk of life, and others seem not to be able to do so. Genuine community isn't planned. It just happens when people are hospitable to others and are able to trust other people. It happens when people share with one another. Sharing builds relationships. Friends aren't mythical creatures. Friends are awesome and in our lives to share in community, have experiences, and understand each other in only the way that continual choice can.
May we befriend those on the margins of society and those within accepted society.
Gamesmanship is not a lost art in people's lives. Unfortunately, some like to play with other people. I have been honored these past weeks to observe a couple of people though.
First, while I was on the bus, I saw and met a homeless man. He was awesome. He was encouraging all of the people around him to have good and productive days. He wanted to buy a cup of coffee for another man on the bus who was having a difficult time finding work, but he was housed and fed. He was sad that he didn't have work. Yet, the homeless guy found work wherever it was to include encouraging the other man on the bus. I understood him as a Christ figure. He was there to encourage and care for those around him instead of asking for anything. It was counter to what is normally experienced in that situation.
Secondly, I met Jimmy. Jimmy is a student who is working towards having a better future in his life. He is studying to pass his courses and is working to leave a halfway house. He is a white collar ex-con who is now choosing to live life differently. I was honored to hear his story about consistently choosing freedom while experiencing his new space and options and share with him the information about being a university student.
While we were all on the bus, some people were opposed to the first guy far more than anyone was opposed to Jimmy. Homelessness is game where I currently live. It seems that it is more of an issue here than anywhere else I have lived, or at least, it seems to be so. There are prisons here, a lot of missions to help people, and only about 100,000 people. I have met some people who seem to try to make other people homeless here. Perhaps, I am recognizing it more than before since there are far fewer people than I am used to being around. I live in a city that is a tenth of the size than the one before I moved, and while it isn't necessarily a Cheers episode, people know people here.
These were experiences that were living poetry in my life. I found beauty in these people and what they had to say. I found poetry in the acceptance of the other people around them. It was community that appeared within the community. No had to make a show of anything. It just was -- community. The key is knowing two things: when to Build an Ark and when to Dare to be a Daniel. I have had some great experiences in the past few weeks that illustrate how community can sing in its own poetic forms as we just go about living our lives. It was also incredible to me because it reminded me of the ways that we view other people.
Too often society looks at something and thinks that it knows what it is. Just like David and Goliath, the giants we fight fall, but we use our own ways to make sure that we are able to be safe in the fights. It is in our best interest to do so. People also seem to think of themselves as mighty warriors such that we even have giants to slay. At some point, people don't need to create giants. The giants we fight are generally of our own making. We make giants of the unknown. Because we don't know everything, we think our creative narratives are everyone's reality.
The number one way that people do this is questioning everyone's motives. I was given a recipe to make a cleaner out of bleach and Pine Sol. When I told someone the story, the motive was questioned. Why does someone give something to the other person? Well, I was using Lysol and didn't like the results, so I was looking for something different. I asked the neighbor who does maintenance in apartments about what they use (ya''ll know how people are), so he shared the information. Why is his motive questioned for sharing? It's a regular thing for neighbors to do. It's called: "being neighborly."
Paranoia is a huge problem for people. It's normal to ask for help and beneficial. Not everything is a personal attack or motivated to harm another person. Paranoia is a huge giant as is greed. Trust issues plague our society. I was asked why I owned something that someone else didn't. Why isn't it okay for one person to have thing and another not to? Why would someone go into another person's house and say "where did you get that?" in an accusatory tone? What is the real problem in those instances? Envy.
I met a person who wants everything done for him but doesn't share or reciprocate in anyway. Instead, the person claims that he is being taken advantage of when he is actually more ahead of the game because others are sharing with him. We have the adage that No Good Deed goes unpunished. The problem with it is that not everyone is out to get everyone else. The real issues is that there are people playing games trying to control other people within our society. I try to remember that there was a time in my life before I knew most people in it now, and I'm still here which means I will probably be in my life after that person. I am realistically the only person from whom I can't get away.
People tend to forget that when they want to punish someone then it is because that person is acting as the judicial system instead of using the judicial system. It leads to a pity party most of the time. "The poor me's I helped someone" syndrome is a real problem. Some people are incredibly toxic, but the ex-con and homeless man I met on the bus were healthier than some of the others around them. Doing service work actually causes people to feel better and motivate those around them to do better.
It seems that some are out to erase hope. Some are out to make sure that they can trample everyone else. At some point, it's only when people know that I have or intend to go to a Temple that they start getting upset and refusing to help me while presuming that I am there to serve them. I know a lot of people on the margins of society while I know others in high positions who can't handle a simple conversation.
Those with nothing seem to be able to be hospitable while others talk sideways. It's really simple. Greed is a self-centered choice. Sharing is not. Friendship is okay. For someone who has been accused of not knowing how to have and keep friends, it seems that when I have friends their involvement in my life is a problem for others I know. It is a sign of a controlling and toxic relationship.
Friendship is normal. Isolation is not. Some can make friends in any walk of life, and others seem not to be able to do so. Genuine community isn't planned. It just happens when people are hospitable to others and are able to trust other people. It happens when people share with one another. Sharing builds relationships. Friends aren't mythical creatures. Friends are awesome and in our lives to share in community, have experiences, and understand each other in only the way that continual choice can.
May we befriend those on the margins of society and those within accepted society.
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